Boys Locker Room

KHANSA SUNDUS

Massive outrage erupted after several social media users on Sunday posted screenshots of crude conversations from the group named “Bois locker room”. The screenshots showed members of the group – believed to be students of some top schools in Delhi and some allegedly as young as 13-years-old – sharing photos of teenage girls and making explicit comments about their bodies. The list of members of the group chat has also been released publicly. The Twitter was stormed with #Boyslockerroom on Monday.

 But to be honest I’m not surprised by this incident. Objectification of women and normalization of rape culture are nothing new for us. When I say ‘us’, it includes each and every woman out there. The question here is that who is responsible for this sort of behavior? The answer is us, each one of us. This patriarchal society has always blamed women and raised them with fear. All the rules and regulations are for women. We have been hearing since our childhood,”Agar ek ladka bigadta hai to log kahenge us ghar ka ladka bigda hua hai. Lekin agar ek ladki kuch galat karegi to log kahenge wo gharana bigda hua hai.” This is the mentality which has raised us. No wonder when men look at us women, they feel that they are looking at some sexual objects and not a creation of God with feelings and emotions. When I say men, I do not include all men but those men who being driven by their misogynist mentality tend to objectify women.

Toxic masculinity is not something confined to our society, it is rooted in western cultures as well. A prominent example is the misogynistic President of USA, Donald Trump who keeps on making sexist statements about women. One such statement he made about Late Princess Diana of England,: I COULD HAVE NAILED HER'  Donald Trump boasts he could have had sex with Princess Diana and joked about forcing her to have an HIV test in a radio interview just months after she died.

Sexual objectification is commonplace in media culture. Some most prominent cases have been discussed here.

Few years back, a Nando’s India advertisement was published in a national daily and read "We don't mind if you touch our buns, or breasts or even our thighs. Whatever you're into, enjoying any Nando's meal with your hands is always recommended". Needless to say that this kind of advertisement of Nando’s was Vulgar and offensive towards women. It makes me sick to the stomach to know that Nando’s cannot differentiate between meat and women. It is not okay to indulge in sexist word play to promote your brand!

The 2011 ad of Zatak showing a young boy going to a female dentist, who inevitably gets seduced by her patients’ deodorant and is shown unbuttoning his clothes also faced a number of complaints for being indecent and vulgar. The advertisement implies that a woman once she smells the product will inevitably lose her rationale and behave like a lust struck being, overcome by desire, irrespective of her profession or the situation. The advertisement also indecently shows the buttons of the woman’s clothing “pop out” towards the end.

The controversial ad for Amul Macho, showing a young bride conjuring images of conjugal bliss as she washed her husband’s clothes was full of sexual innuendoes and was distasteful. The condom ads in India too seem to showcase condoms not as a means of protection or family planning but focuses more on close up shots of the various body parts and suggestive expressions of a female celebrity.

Sexual objectification and commodification of women is very much prevalent in advertisements in India and is utilized to sell a variety of products from biscuits, to soft drinks to men’s perfume and innerwear.

Indian movie songs not only portray women as objects but also romanticize sexual assault and harassment, which gives the impression and provides a message that it is acceptable in the society because it has been portrayed like this in the songs.

“Baby doll me sone di.”

Girls love to be referred to as a doll but only when it doesn’t mean to be in a slutty sense.

“Aao Raja”. Aesa hai bhaad me jao raja.

“Ban Mitran di whore”. Bhai wo kyun banegi whore ? Apni had me raho!

“Choti dress me Tu bomb lagdi menu”

“I want you my baby, mujhe dede Love Dose.” These lyrics clearly depict the lust of the writer. Seems like he was having an orgasm while writing these songs. Women are merely seen as some seductive objects to stimulate the worst of the emotions in a man’s heart

We’ve tapped our feet to the beats of these songs. We ignored these sick advertisements. It is us who’ve encouraged rape culture unknowingly..

In a series of tweets, Me Too India – an outgrowth of the powerful global movement against sexual assault – said that there was an urgent need to address toxic masculinity.

“Tell us again how hanging four rapists in a day was supposed to strike fear in the hearts of men and boys?” they tweeted. “States can hang all the rapists they want, #boyslockerroom will continue unless the root cause of patriarchy, entitlement and toxic masculinity is addressed.”

What would need to change is for men in positions of power to accept that women can surpass them without having wronged them.

We need to put a full stop to this culture where women are only considered as a means to satisfy the lust of men. Each one of us collectively can definitely make a difference.

To sum up I’d emphasize on the fact that ‘NOT ALL MEN ARE TRASH’ because it was through some morally conscious guys only that this ‘Boislockerroom’ could be exposed.

Editor’s Note: ‘Boys will be boys’. No! Boys will not be boys if you tell them how to behave. People say it’s about good education. Well, let me enlighten you with the fact that these boys were from ‘good’ schools and belonged to ‘good’ families. So, clearly it’s about the upbringing and the way you let your ‘dear boys’ do whatever they want to.

 If you also have something to write about or speak about, do it now. We encourage our audience to be the ‘voice of change’.

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